Thursday, November 8, 2012

Here is my first chapter.

I am going to let you ALL read my first chapter of The Secret Inside.
Here it is:
            The Woods
In the morning, at 6:15 a.m. Ori has gone out to hunt for food. Then she heard someone behind her.
''Who's there?''She calls out.
Nobody answers.
''I said, who's there?''She yells again.
''Well, uh, it's me. I woke up when you walked out the door, so I followed you.''Said her sister, Janika.
''You little brat!''Cried Ori''You can't do that! What if a hunter were to be out here? You would get killed!!! You shall go home!''
''I can't go home. I have to follow you to make sure you don't get hurt. YOU could get killed, too.''Janika argued.
''When do I ever get hurt? I told you to go home, now go.''Ori ordered.
''You never get hurt, but you still can, and I will not go home. You are not Mother!''Janika screamed at her sister.
The word still hung in the air. Both girls were thinking “We don't have a mother.” Janika felt really bad.
''I-I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I just- I don't know. I'm sorry.''Janika cried.
''Never mind it, Janika. Just go home.'' Ori said a little softer.
''Fine. But don't come crying to me if you get hurt.''Janika replied.
''Oh. Don't worry. I won't.''Ori answered.
Janika and Ori are sisters. Their parents died in a fire that was purposefully meant to kill the girls, but it didn't work. They got out just in time, just before the fire started. They kept a low profile, so nobody in the village knew if they were alive.
After that, Janika left.
''Whew, now that she's gone, I can fetch my breakfast.''Ori sighed to herself.
Ori hunted down I little fox. She watched the belly for a minute, and then took a bite. After she was done, she wiped herself off, and threw the fox in the middle of the circle she was in. Though she had no idea what would happen if somebody found the fox just laying there, with a giant hole in it, and no blood. She came home, and what happened? Ori was wondering what had happened to the house.
''Uh...Why is there blood on your chin?''Janika looked awkwardly at the blood.
''What? Oh, my nose was bleeding. I ran into a tree.''Ori promised herself that she would clean up before coming through the door.
''Oh. Sorry''Janika laughed, but she wasn't sure if she was telling the truth.
The day ended with them glaring at each other, as usual.
The next day. Ori got up again at 6:15. This time though, Janika didn't follow her. She wasn't even awake yet. Which was very strange, yet, so fortunate for Ori. She hoped to get home before Janika woke up.
Fortunately, Janika didn't wake up until 8 o' clock. So Ori had just enough time to eat, get washed up, and make breakfast.
''Morning Janika!''Ori cheerfully said, as a groggy Janika came in.
''Hey.'' Janika replied.
''Well, your a bit uh.. non-cheerful today!'' Ori laughed.
''Well, your a little too cheerier today than usual.''Janika teased.
''Why, yes I am!'' She teased back.
''Jeez. I was just kidding ya' know.'' Janika said as if she were being defendant of herself.
''Sorry.'' Ori giggled.
''What?''Janika asked''Do I look funny or something?''
''No, I am just giggly this morning.'' Ori replied.
''Hmm.'' Janika answered.
''What? Am I being weird?''Ori asked.
''No, it's nothing.''Janika answered.
Ori and Janika were named after a village named Janori. They do not wear pretty clothes, and their food is scarce. They had to wear the clothes that they wore when their parents died because their clothes had burned, and they would not show their faces to the villagers. Oh, of course they washed their clothes, they just weren't able to wear different clothes. They hoped that someday, they would have a quality life. They dreamed of wearing those beautiful ball gowns again. They wanted to be loved and cherished. But that would never happen.
Later that day. Janika and Ori were outside playing. Suddenly, Ori stopped.
''I wish we could be loved.''Ori said, dazed.
''We are loved, just by each other.''Janika replied to her sister's sudden comment.
''We just need to be happy with what we have.''Janika reasoned with Ori.
''Yeah. I guess. Well, anyway, let's get back to what we were doing.''Ori sighed.
''Yeah.'' Janika replied.

If any of you have suggestions, let me know.

1 comment:

  1. Sisters eh?! LOL!!

    I do like the rather feisy but loving relationship between Janika and Ori. Yay! Take care